As you reach 25 years old, the number of friends you make decreases drastically, reveals a study from the Royal Society Open Science journal. Once you hit 30, life whisks you away on a ride through career changes, (more) kids, and occasional backaches. Consequently, learning how to be more social at this point may seem more challenging. But all hope is not lost!
How to Gain New Friends in Your 30s
Another research from Psychology and Aging emphasises that the quality of your friendships influences your happiness in your 30s. Thankfully, you can rely on several strategies to establish meaningful connections during this life stage (and beyond!). Here are some to consider.
Tap into your current network.
Begin by exploring your present friendship network. Your friends have their connections, so spend time with them to increase the chances of expanding your circle. If you aren’t used to meeting new people, ask for help from your current crew to initiate introductions.
Not too keen on meeting your pal’s pals? Reconnect with an old buddy instead. Slide into a childhood friend’s DMs and sustain a conversation. The beauty of social media is that you’ll always have something to talk about. Hit that like button and ask about their food post. Then, steer the direction into catching up in person over a meal just as Instagrammable.
Pick up a new hobby.
Now is a terrific time to start a new hobby or sport! If you’re clueless about where you can practise being more social, consider checking out a gym or yoga studio to find your groove. Or, join a book or photography club if you’re not into sports.
Step out of your comfort zone and try something for the first time! Learning alongside others with shared interests will open the doors to developing social skills and creating new bonds.
Say yes more often.
As you get older, you settle into a routine – grabbing breakfast from your usual deli, shuttling kids from one extracurricular to another on weekends, you get the picture. It’s no wonder you’ve forgotten how to be social these days.
Take a break from the usual and get your spouse to hold down the fort or take the kids so you can click accept to that poolside get-together. Take the leap and RSVP to your CEO’s wedding, even if your work bestie can’t make it.
It may sound contradictory, but being comfortable alone can draw others to you when they see your confidence flying solo. Invitations are an opportunity to be more social, so instead of saying nay, have courage and say yes more often.
Maintain a healthy work-life balance.
Master the art of balancing work commitments and social activities. Respect your work hours so you can allot time for quick evening catchups. During weekends, grab every opportunity to put yourself out there. Volunteer at a charity, participate in community events, or drive a neighbour to the airport. Why not sign up for a friendship app (yes, it’s a thing!) and allow yourself to swipe and scroll 30 minutes per day? Yes, you deserve it.
Work on yourself.
You also need to take steps to appear more open and approachable. Say yes to revamping your look by trading your usual neutrals-only outfit for an OOTD that shows off your vibrant character. Head to the salon and ask for a K-pop star’s hairstyle – a terrific conversation starter.
Or, get a smile makeover that will allow you to flash your friendliest grin! Schedule a dental appointment stat and consult your doctor about available treatments. You can even ask about ClearCorrect aligners, a revolutionary solution for teeth straightening. Smiling more often might just help you connect with other people better. While you’re at it, don’t forget to strike up a conversation with the clinic receptionist or the patient waiting beside you. Don’t miss out on any opportunity!
Why It’s Harder to Make Friends Past 30
It’s easy to interact socially when you’re floating through your 20s surrounded by new faces at school parties, or work. When you hit the next decade, you’re more settled (in your company or relationship) and less likely to meet new people. And admit it, you just don’t have as much energy in your social battery as you used to.
Besides reduced social opportunities and the busyness of adult life, here are other reasons why being sociable for 30-somethings is challenging:
- Fear of rejection and vulnerability
- Preference for quality relationships over quantity
- More time spent online
- Established social circles that are less accepting
- Evolving priorities
- Limited shared experiences
But don’t give up! Learning how to be more social won’t happen overnight, so keep trying. Go at your own pace and do what feels right for you. And remember, you’re not the only one trying to squeeze in more time to hang out. Trust that it will happen.
References:
5 proven ways to make more meaningful friendships as an adult. (2023, December 19). TODAY.com.
Bhattacharya, K., Ghosh, A., Monsivais, D., Dunbar, R., & Kaski, K. (2016). Sex differences in social focus across the life cycle in humans. Royal Society Open Science, 3(4), 160097.
Carmichael, C. L., Reis, H. T., & Duberstein, P. R. (2015b). In your 20s it’s quantity, in your 30s it’s quality: The prognostic value of social activity across 30 years of adulthood. Psychology and Aging, 30(1), 95–105.
Loggins, B. (2022, September 6). How to make friends in your 20s and 30s. Real Simple.
