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How to Handle Negative Feedback Confidently

By: BeSeen Team

Date: November 29, 2023

Feedback is a fact of life. You’ve likely received some from your parents, thesis adviser, first boss, or that friend who has a say in everything. And while a good commendation can boost your morale and confidence, negative feedback won’t always be well-received. After all, who wants to discuss their supposed failures?

But unsolicited or otherwise, these “criticisms” can help you identify areas of improvement. Your mission? Uncover how to harness these situations when called out and respond with confidence. Ready?

Responding to Negative Feedback 

Woman wearing glasses and smiling while talking to another woman.
Feedback is a gift – accept it with arms open and use it as a growth opportunity.

When given constructively, negative feedback can address a pain point you would have otherwise overlooked. Instead of seeing it as a personal attack, why not receive it like a gift? Here’s an advantage worth cherishing: Research by Frontiers in Psychology found that feedback, whether positive or negative, can improve job performance quantity and quality.

Surely, you’d want to enjoy these benefits (and more!) yourself. So, here are some ways to respond when you find yourself with a measly one-star rating.

Listen actively. 

It’s easy to become defensive when someone (especially a stranger!) exposes your vulnerabilities. But even if what they have to say won’t sit well with you initially, delay your reaction so you can better respond to the problem. Let them say their piece first.

Effective communication requires not interrupting the other person, right? But active listening means more than just not cutting someone off. Hearing someone out also involves discernment. Is the information presented fact or opinion? Is it accurate? What is the motive behind the feedback? The answers to these questions will give you a clearer picture of the situation so you can respond accordingly.

Ask for clarification. 

Sometimes, feedback comes in a pretty, little package wrapped in vague comments. When this happens, avoid miscommunication by asking questions so you’re clear about what you need to address. Making additional queries will reassure the other person that you’re committed to fixing the issue.

View feedback as an opportunity for growth. 

Asian women looking at a clipboard in the office.
Practise active listening and ask questions along the way so you can respond to feedback with an action plan.

Use the feedback to motivate you to do better. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So, yes, constructive criticism can be a powerful catalyst for growth and personal development.

Never shy away from upgrading yourself. Responding to feedback can result in significant life changes that put you on the right path. Sometimes, it’s as simple as booking a salon appointment, or it may involve more complex tasks like addressing misaligned teeth. Keep at it! Need to improve your self-esteem? Ask your dentist about ClearCorrect. These aligners offer a discreet and comfortable solution to enhance your smile – so you can take all kinds of feedback with greater confidence.

Giving Negative Feedback 

Caucasian man in plaid talking to an Asian woman wearing black and white in a bright office.
Giving negative feedback should be constructive, not destructive. Focus on the problem, not the person.

Have the tables turned, and now you have to give negative feedback? Truth is, it won’t come easy, especially if you’re used to being on the other end of the stick. But remember: providing someone with honest and constructive feedback will set them up for success.

Set the tone. 

The last thing you want to do is catch someone off guard and slap them with a mistake they committed. Instead, schedule the meeting and let them know beforehand that you want to discuss a specific project, behaviour, or action. Choose a quiet, private place that will make the other person feel they’re in a safe space and not under attack. 

Keep it constructive. 

When giving feedback, never make it personal. Be specific about the behaviour you want to address and always suggest solutions. Additionally, don’t use accusatory phrases. For example, avoid saying, “You used the wrong template to write the contract! You were rushing again!” Instead, say, “I noticed the template you used to write the contract was different. Moving forward, let’s use the correct one next time.” Wording is everything!

Follow up. 

It’s not enough to point something out and leave it at that. Schedule a follow-up meeting with the person involved and help them craft a corrective plan. Then, track their progress to ensure sustainability, build trust, and make giving feedback in the future easier.

No one looks forward to being the bearer of negative feedback, whether giving or receiving it. However, it’s the only way to escape mediocrity and correct errors. It can be challenging, sure, especially if you’re not used to heated situations. But keep an open mind and approach it with good intentions, and you’ll be a pro in no time.

 

Reference: 

Su, W., Yuan, S., & Qi, Q. (2022). Different effects of supervisor positive and negative feedback on subordinate In-Role and Extra-Role performance: the moderating role of regulatory focus. Frontiers in Psychology, 12 

 

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