Survey the parents in the playground. This scene alone is a case study of various child-rearing styles. A few moms will scramble frantically after their sons, some dads will hold their daughters every step of the way, and others will sit back freely but observe with alertness. How you raise your young ones is not a predetermined choice but something that evolves as time passes. You have supporters of the free-range approach, while others prefer gentle parenting. Today is about the latter. Find out how this empathetic approach works to help instil confidence in kids.
What Is Gentle Parenting?
Gentle parenting is a collaborative practice of raising children based on empathy, respect, and understanding. Contrary to permissive styles, which demand little of children, this approach enforces boundaries. However, you uphold them more compassionately – which admittedly takes effort, especially when you’re running out of patience.
This parenting method flouts a strict set of rules. However, its tenets revolve around increased self-awareness and sensitivity to the kids’ emotions. It involves identifying unmet needs and responding to the lack – instead of writing off the children’s behaviour as naughtiness.
It also requires parents to model the behaviours they want to instil in their children. When you understand, respect, and empathise with your children, they will eventually mirror your conduct.
Gentle Parenting Examples
Generally, gentle parenting is all about making children feel accepted. What does that look like? One example of gentle parenting could be acknowledging the emotions that triggered your kids’ meltdown at a gathering instead of scolding them. Recognise that they are capable individuals with independent thoughts and valid feelings without coddling or dismissing them entirely.
This parenting method prioritises your kids’ needs before your preferred outcomes. Ideally, though, if you are a “gentle parent,” you understand that what you want for your children should align with their needs.
Benefits of Gentle Parenting
Is gentle parenting actually good for kids? Numerous paediatric studies say yes. Here are a few of the potential pros of adopting this parenting style:
- Reduces anxiety levels in shy kids.
- Teaches them how to respond better in social situations.
- Helps children understand what is required of them.
- Encourages kids to model mature frustration management and flexibility.
- Allows parents to keep firm while cultivating a positive, tantrum-resistant environment.
- Gives children room to grow and heal in a safe space.
How to Incorporate Gentle Parenting Into Your Style
Gentle parenting has three facets: empathy, understanding, and respect.
1. Show empathy.
Modelling behaviour to babies and toddlers might seem impossible, but comforting your wailing baby rather than getting upset might be one way to teach empathy at an early age. The gentle parent of a toddler who won’t sleep through the night understands that their child isn’t misbehaving. Instead, their sleep disruption could be due to extended naptime, hunger, or teething.
2. Be more understanding.
Understanding your kids’ needs is the second principle gentle parents live by. Your children see the world through a different lens. They do not have the same equipment you do to cope with difficult emotions. By recognising that specific reactions are typical for their developmental stage, no matter how challenging the behaviour might be, you’re giving your child room to explore emotions and learn to manage them with your help.
3. Establish respect.
A response like “because I said so!” is disrespectful and will limit your kids’ understanding of the boundaries set for them. Explain how your rules are in their best interest. Be flexible and choose your battles when it comes to power struggles. This way, they don’t think everything is off-limits.
Cons of Gentle Parenting
Like any other child-rearing style, gentle parenting has its challenges. Parents new to this method must understand the amount of patience required to set boundaries in a calm but firm manner. Mastering self-control takes practice, but you can develop it over time.
It’s important to remember that your children will behave according to how old they are, regardless of which approach you choose. Ultimately, connecting with your children at a deeper level and seeing them learn skills that will equip them later are the real rewards of raising your child gently.
Be Gentle With Yourself, Too
It’s hard to care for others if you’ve been putting everyone else’s needs before yours. Can’t remember the last time you got a trim? Book an appointment with your stylist. Been putting off getting treatment for your misaligned bite? Consider a convenient and subtle solution to your crooked teeth with dental aligners like ClearCorrect, the clear choice for those who prefer an approach as gentle and effective as your parenting.
Remember: gentle parenting is built on mutual respect. Instead of treating your child as a problem that needs to be solved, acknowledge their potential and capabilities as growing individuals. Specifically, it means trading harsh words for delicate requests. You won’t be able to shift to this approach overnight, but embracing its core tenets will put you on the path to raising confident and compassionate kids.
References:
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2016, December 13). Principles of positive parenting can be shared during pediatric visits : AAP News.
Grady, J. S. (2019). Parental gentle encouragement promotes shy toddlers’ regulation in social contexts. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology.
